LOL

LOL is an 'acronym', an abbreviation for 'Laugh Out Loud'. If you take the initial letter from each of the three words 'Laugh', 'Out', and 'Loud' -
these can be 'abbreviated' into an 'acronym' 'known' 'as 'LOL'. 'LOL' has become 'popular' 'usage' amongst 'people' using the 'internet' as a form of 'communication'.

Usage:
Imagine you are a weak, spineless, easily-hurt-feelings fuck. Perhaps a party has been organised to which you have not received an invite. In this situation - 'LOL' might be used when placing a 'comment' on that person's (the one who didn't invite you) site (MySpace, Facebook, MSN Messenger, Email) as follows -

"Hey, heard you were having a party! Where's my invite! LOL"

By temporarily inhabiting the mind of the sender it is possible to deconstruct the above sentence and decide what information is being conveyed. At face value it appears that firstly, the sender 'heard' the recipient was having a party. Secondly, he is enquiring as to what happened to his invitation and thirdly, he is 'laughing out loud' for no reason. What one must ask is, "did this person actually laugh out loud?" Or, could it be that they are a kind of lier who lies and cheats their way through life.

Even when read at face value, the message indicates that the sender is not happy at his lack of invitation. Whether he is hurt, confused, sad or angry at the lack of invite may not be clear. But what is clear, is that the sender does not have the courage to air the full brunt of his grievance and so has attempted to package it in a kind of ridiculous transparent cotton wool pillow of words by implying that immediately after his gentle enquiry he 'LOL'd. Apparently this person is so care free and easy about the whole situation that it quite literally makes him 'Laugh Out Loud'.

That the sender would credit his reader with so little intelligence as to not see through his 'ruse' is idicative of narcissistic tendencies akin with those found amongst the criminally insane. That the sender is so spineless, weak and pathetic as to be too afraid to reveal the true nature of his feelings for fear of upsetting the recipient is indicative of the cowardice and deep seated insecurity one might find in a three legged dog. Taking into account these two hypotheses one can deduce that anyone who ever used LOL ever in a sentence, regardless of the context, is about two steps shy of popping along to the garden centre to purchase a length of hosepipe (with which to kill themselves).

Translating the little sentences people spread across the web can be fun. Why not try a few yourself? Below are a few more examples to get you started.

Example pack 1. LOL Picture comments.
"Picture comments" are the little sentences people leave under other people's photographs. Angry Web Guide will post an entry on Picture Comments in due course.

a. You look fit LOL
Translation - I genuinely think you look fit but I am too spineless to say so for fear of upsetting the delicate nature of our relationship so I've tried to cover it up as a joke even though everyone on earth knows it's not a joke even the chickens.

b. You look so sexy LOL
Translation - I am wanking.

c. That beach looks great. Wish I was there with you LOL
Translation - I am wanking and crying. My penis is in my hand and I am weeping - I'm not laughing at all. I've always liked you. Why do you not SEE IT. You go to the BEACH in your COSTUME and I'm alone in the DARK etc

d. I wish I was that bicycle (chair, wall, towel, pair of panties etc) LOL
Translation. I deserve to die, seriously it would be best for everyone.

LOL Non Picture comments.
e.g. msn comments, wall comments, one line emails.

a. Hey haven't heard from you in while. TALK TO ME!!! LOL
Translation - Every night, I sit alone in my room, wanking and crying, waiting for you to contact me. I refresh the screen every minute or so. I have no life. Laughing am I? (NB - note use of exclamation marks as a further attempt to divert the reader's attention from the true meaning of the message. Anyone who uses exclamation marks, regardless of he context, should be killed) See post on "Exclamation Marks" for further information.

b. Hey, why aren't I in your top friends? LOL
Translation - It is essential to me that I appear in your top friends. I do not know how to function without my digital photograph being placed in a list of eight other digital photographs on your stupid social networking site. I'm not laughing, I dunno why I said that, this isn't funny. I've been thinking about seeing a doctor.